#JesusIsKing

There is something big happening right now and it is making satan very grumpy.

Kanye West has produced a new studio album titled #JesusIsKing and it's making sinners feel not good about themselves.. This Bible inspired collection of music infuses gospel tunes with modern popular music genres, creating a new form of audible art that somehow remains true to Kanye's previous genres + themes. Kanye's past works attempted to position Kanye at the center of the universe, once proclaiming to be "A God" himself. However, #JesusIsKing is evidence enough that he's now a servant of a righteous higher power. It is pretty fucking amazing to experience.

"Jesus Is Lord. Every Knee Shall Bow. Every Tongue Confess. Jesus Is Lord."

Kanye is fucking based now my dudes.

So of course the weak + wicked are out in full force this weekend to tear this man down, attempting to poison his speech with blatant lies and falsehoods. Those who stand strong and speak truths tend to find enemies in those peddling despair or misinformation in order to maintain their power + control over this material realm. Those who know and speak true to the Gospels don't fare well with the rich + powerful on this earth, and are usually made out to be the enemies of society &/or the state. The fallen angel just can't accept that we're the ones who enter the Kingdom of God.

At first this army of satan attacked Kanye for delaying the album release, mocking his dedication and labeling him a liar or deceiver. Then they attacked him for scheduling concerts and public events showcasing the new album, calling him a grifter and a sellout. And finally when the album was released and #JesusIsKing trended all over social media for the entire weekend before normally scheduled satanic holiday shenanigans, satan's warriors still called Kanye and his family every bad name under this glorious sun in an attempt to subvert the album's success + reach..

But not so sadly for satan, his wicked plans for subverting the truth have failed again. Now the vulnerable, broken, misled and misguided youth of America are opening their eyes once more to the word of the Bible, searching for the time tested answers of our ancestors. These times we're living in are about to be truly AMAZING!

This is the year I started *actually* reading the bible for the first time, and it is opening my eyes to the righteous path of redeeming my lost soul through love. My wicked path and resulting sins are minor in comparison to many out there today, but sins against God that need to be overcome nonetheless. I do not know much about this earth, and am not at all the right person to throw around the words "true christian," but I do know that those taking joy or pride in tearing down a reforming man taking great financial and personal risks to produce music professing his love for the true God of the bible are NOT Christians. Regardless of how often they attend church services, or how loudly they sing and dance to gospel music, if humans refuse to forgive and love their fellow man they are rejecting the word and will of our Savior.

Not sorry about saying that, as it is the truth.

Kanye has been a practicing Christian for years now according to his words and works, which is confusing to most as his wife appears to be a notorious sinner and his associates maintain selfish, material desires while indulging in carnal pleasures. We are all born of sin and only through Christ can we be redeemed. Those who enjoy indulging in the sin refuse to accept or acknowledge this reality, choosing instead to take actions that protect and promote their hedonistic ways. Kanye has taken very public and genuine strides in recent months to protect his family, correct his wife's sinful nature, spread the truth of the bible and share the love of our lord to all. If a man refuses to forgive those who have wronged him, or is unwilling to sacrifice the ego and other earthly possessions to the will of our God, it makes sense that they wouldn't be able to understand or appreciate Kanye's journey.

Sinners despise redemption stories. The wicked will never take pleasure in forgiveness and love. The truth speakers and love seekers will always be torn down by the army of satan and all those who blindly obey those wicked marching orders. And sadly it seems like the most vocal of christians in our society today are the quickest to judge + condemn others for their behavior, forgetting entirely the message of redemption and forgiveness that Christ our Savior brings us.

Love God. Love Each Other.

I do believe it is admirable what Kanye is doing right now and should be appreciated by those out there fighting the good fight. He is standing tall + speaking the truth in a world of lies, as should we all. However, keep in mind he is a mortal man, still travelling on a wild path towards the Kingdom of Heaven, and that you still need to dig down deep and pray to God for true answers to your problems.

I personally respect the man for choosing to create art that glorifies the bible and its teachings, providing Christ's true earthly name [ "Yeshua" the savior ] while repenting multiple times for his life of sin.. He then wrestles with God's commandments before submitting to them, then goes on to name the devil as a very real + dangerous entity. This album reads much more like a breakup letter to that fallen angel, and it's apparent that satan's not taking it well my dudes..

"Told the devil that I'm going on a strike. Told the devil when I see him, on sight. I've been working for you my whole life. Told the devil that I'm going on a strike. I've been working for you my whole life."

"Said I'm finna do a gospel album. What have you been hearin' from the Christians? They'll be the first one to judge me. Make it feel like nobody love me. They'll be the first one to judge me. Feelin' like nobody love me. Told people God was my mission."

"Only if they knew what I knew, uh. I was never new 'til I knew of. True and living God, Yeshua. The true and living God."

Our lord works in extremely mysterious ways, and Kanye's wild journey is evidence enough to support that claim. I love Kanye West, all of his family, and his art, as well as you and all of God's glorious creations!

I recommend you listen to this album with an open mind + genuine heart, and no matter what above all else let God work and love his things.

Sean Cory, seanvplanet.com

Happy 7th Birthday Wu!

[ Originally Published July 2019 : northparkradio.com ]

[Before beginning this heartfelt rant, I would like to send tons of my loves and positive energies across the sea to the little gift on the anniversary of his birth, and welcome all of you out there to do the same.. ]

The Chinese government kidnapped our sweet, lovely little boy Xiao Liwu and I seem to be the only one who cares.. "Wu" is an anchor baby panda born at the San Diego Zoo on July 29, 2012 and those greedy Asian commies came over in April of 2019 and took him by force from the only home he ever knew.

Mr. Wu was given to us by God on July 29,2012. His stunningly gorgeous mother Bai Yun delivered him without complications on that glorious day, as his father Gao Gao welcomed his fifth child panda into the world.

We all know that giant pandas have problems mating in captivity, as males pandas typically become uninterested in mating or often fail to understand how, while female pandas tend to have extremely narrow ovulation and/or mating schedules. This leads one to assume correctly that Mr. Gao is quite chivalrous and extraordinarily virile, while Mrs. Yun is one truly beautiful and strong lady.. This power couple has been correctly identified by experts in the field to be the most reproductively successful panda parents in captivity, giving birth to five (5!) cubs via natural mating. The last of which was given the nickname "Little Gift" and the Chinese stole him from us.

This hostile takeover of our sovereign Zoo population by the Chinese government is the most embarrassing geopolitical event since that Malaysian airplane disappeared, and nobody is even talking about it.. You won't hear leftists complaining on Facebook about Chinese interference in our zoos or see photos and memes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez crying outside of Xiao's new holding cell.. Dare I say Panda concentration camp.. ? No, of course not! You also will never see Trump tweet about the panda trade wars he is clearly losing or hear his supporters chant "bring him back" at one of his rallies.. Sad!

Mr. Wu was miraculously born on US soil, he is an anchor baby panda, and he deserves asylum immediately. Why am I the only one willing to go fight these children of Mao and reclaim the taxpaying, red-blooded American citizen they unlawfully stole from our sovereign lands? Am I truly surrounded by cowards? Xiao Liwu is a political prisoner being held by Chinese communist extremists and our own drastic measures need to be taken to secure his lost freedoms, because our loser president and "woke" congress refuse to even acknowledge this war crime even took place.

Instead of storming Area 51 this September, I propose we all meet up in China with our swords and liberate the prisoners of the panda internment camps that are surely committing heinous panda atrocities as we speak. If that somehow doesn't work, we could always hire Seal Team 6 to raid the compound holding him ransom to get some good old fashioned American justice. We must spare no costs in our pursuit of liberating our little gift!

In honor of that beautiful, sweet little boy on his birthday; North Park Radio is going to give China 90 days to return Xiao Liwu, or we will declare trade wars against all of them. China is winning the 21st century great giant panda trade wars and laughing in our stupid faces.. Are you going to finally grow up and join the fight for true liberty and justice for ALL?!?

Happy Birthday Wu!

[This blog is satire only. Xiao Liwu + Bai Yun were at the San Diego Zoo as part of a negotiated contract, and they are loved + being treated very well in their new home: https://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/San-Diego-Zoo-Pandas-Bai-Yun-Xiao-Liwu-Land-in-China-510115931.html ]

Trump v. Biden : Let's Fucking Duel

[ Originally Published March 2018 : northparkradio.com ]

According to the definitely not fake news source CNN, "President Donald Trump said former Vice President Joe Biden 'would go down fast and hard' in a fight after Biden suggested that he would 'beat the hell out of' Trump if they were in high school."

Let's fucking do this.

I'm so ready for a modern day presidential duel, something a master poet can immortalize in a revolutionary art piece sometime in our nation's future.. An event so epic that it would actually 'break the internet' and forever after be a 'where were you' moment. Why shouldn't we make Worldstar a legitimately referenced source in classrooms for centuries to come?

I personally don't want this potential fight to end with fists, however. Let's truly up the stakes here and put guns in their hands, heck give 'em muskets, and maybe the prize could be the office of president and whatever gun control legislation they deem appropriate. A truly high stakes political match! I truly believe that people around the world would love nothing more than watching two powerful, nefarious hucksters attempt to murder each other with muskets live on smartphones. We'd settle for the winner assuming control over the executive and imposing their own gun control measures, with smiles on our faces, if the pay-per-view were a reasonable price.

This whole drama might turn out to be the sort of definitive answer to our nation's most important problems: duels to the death.. True 'Trial by Combat' scenarios that the hit show Game of Thrones recently popularized, where arguments are fought between individuals not with words and ideas, but with outdated weaponry and unedited violence.

So what say you taxpaying citizens of the United States? Can we somehow make this Trump v. Biden duel to the death a reality, and finally Make America Great Again?

What's Up With These Bikes?

[ Originally Published March 2018 : northparkradio.com ]

It is 2018 and San Diego milennials are now fascinated by bicycles. The future is here and it is the bikes that are taking over.. What really is the deal with these things suddenly swarming our streets and sidewalks?

Even the general public seems confused by the sudden appearance and general use of these nearly neon bicycles scattered about town. Just the other day I heard a group of hip passerbys ask out loud 'why is there a bike just sitting there on the sidewalk unlocked?' before walking on by without any true care. Friends have asked about them, customers at my work have been curious about the yellow bike seemingly always parked outside our store. I even overheard security guards at a North Park venue discussing the recent plague of bikes and their ability or duty to move them. I assumed these were going to be temporary or promotional, but after a rigorous internet investigation and personal experimentation I've come to learn how these bikes/scooters work, their potential impact on our city, and I want to share my thoughts here. So, what is up with these bikes?

The old bikesharing service San Diegans have seen or used since 2015 is currently on its way out. Those DecoBikes, now branded as "Discover Bikes," were bicycles that users could rent half-hourly from stations located around town. Customers would pick up and drop off the bikes at specific docking stations throughout the city, limiting access but opening the doors to more reliable and available bikesharing services. Enter Ofo & Lime... The bikesharing companies breaking into the Southern California area this year, that have no docking stations or required pickup/dropoff locations.

The Ofo bikes are bright yellow with black accents, you have probably seen them parked on a sidewalk around town by now. They cost $1 for every hour used and are activated with your smartphone. The app is free and quite easy to use, allowing users to find available bikes on a map resembling the Pokemon Go interface. These bikes are also free for the rest of March, so if you are wanting to try out these new bikeshare services right now is the time! Download the Ofo app and follow the instructions provided to take advantage of this offer!

In addition to my free Ofo test rides, I gave Lime bikes a spin and came away very impressed. These bikes cost twice as much, with rates of $1 for each half hour. However, this service allows users the ability to avoid investing in the entire hour. Unlike Ofo & Discover Bikes, Lime provides customers with the option for electric-augmented bikes, where each peddle generates an electric boost. These motorized bikes are optional, and must be tracked down using the map on the app, but they really make going uphill a breeze. Definitely download the limebike app and track down the lighting bolts on the map to test out one of their motorized bikes, it is quite enjoyable and nearly free.

Coming on to the city scene at the same time as these bikeshare services are Bird Scooters. These are all-black colored electrically motorized scooters, also available to rent by users outside of specific docking locations with only a smartphone. As with the Ofo & Lime apps, the Bird app allows users the ability to very simply track down a scooter to hop on and go. These are a bit more of a thrill, and also a bit more dangerous, reaching speeds of up to 15-20 mph with far less stability than your average bicycle. These are definitely worth trying out, and genuinely a fun activity to partake in with friends or dates, but make sure to take necessary safety precautions to protect your head and potentially your arms and legs from scrapes. These scooters cost more than the other newly available rideshare bikes, costing users $1 to unlock and 15 cents for every 10 minutes after. This is still in no way breaking the bank, but the Bird scooters are definitely less practical for users. However, in my opinion, these scooters are by far the most fun and inviting options out there, but please make sure you're wearing that helmet regardless of how uncomfortable or uncool it may look..

Overall I am personally jumping all in on these new "share economy" services, even if they do turn out to be short lived. The fact that the bikes and scooters can be left or picked up at nearly any/all concrete surfaces around town is beyond convenient. The prices are extroardinarily low and reasonable, providing more legitimate transportation options for the major city with limited public transportation options. This revolutionary service is going to ruffle some feathers, but could generally be the significant spark this city needed to get more cars off of the incredibly conjested roads, while putting pressure on our city council members to actually make more bike lanes as well as more trolly or bus routes in the future.

As of now these bikes are cute, quirky, mysterious, and slowly being integrated into the movements or happenings of San Diegans around town. In the very near future, these bikeshare services could be utilized by the public as legitimate methods of transportation to and from work, community events or even just going out for a night on the town.. Just as rideshare services like Uber/Lyft took over our lives and made taxis essentially useless over the last 6 years, these bikeshare services could also significantly change the transportation game for the better. If the bikes remain cheap, readily available, and practical in general, we could see a sizeable societal and economic shift towards these cheaper, gas-free, and environmentally friendly transportation options. We could be experiencing the beginning of a significant change in philosophy regarding transportation here, and if we decide to utilize the cheaper and more environmentally friendly options now out there, we'll see significant improvements to many aspects of our daily Southern Californian lives.

So what say you, San Diego? It is 2018, get with the times and hop on a bicycle. These dockless bikes are our future, at least until the computers actually figure out how to drive cars for us.

2018 Winter Olympics: Pyeongchang The Channel?

[ Originally Published February 2018 : northparkradio.com ]

The Pyeongchang Winter Olympics came to a close last week and all of the memories I'll hang on to were very...  strange. From the garlic girls to doping scandals, North Korea to shirtless Tonga guy, the range of oddities these Olympic games brought to our handheld devices were fairly entertaining, but lacking something to say the least. 

I would like to start by congratulating San Diego native Shaun White on his many historical accomplishments and storied Olympic achievements. He continues to dominate big air events, even as the competition gets younger and more energetic by the day. Nobody matches his takeoff, few dare take the risks he does, even fewer land them smoothly, but all of us leave impressed. Shaun may have wow'd us for the last time on snow, grabbing his third Winter Olympic gold medal in the halfpipe, but we may see him skating on wood a few years from now in Tokyo..

As Japan prepares for the 2020 Summer Olympics and South Korea wraps up their hosting duties, their geopolitical rival The Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK or North Korea) somehow found a way to inject themselves into the Olympic headlines as if they had anything to do at all with the planning, organizing, or funding of the games. Their government sent propaganda agents to the Olympic village, where they coordinated cheering sections that mainstream news networks seemed to enjoy displaying. The antics of Kim Yo-jong, the sister of current state leader Kim Jong-un and literally the Director of the Propaganda and Agitation Department, stole the media spotlight from other diplomats during the opening ceremonies. I personally have a problem with journalists publicly displaying adoration for a minister of propaganda, especially one in a hostile and militarily aggressive state. But I guess she is kind of hot and sassy or whatevs..

Another one of our national political enemies made headlines, again. After a year of doping allegations, scandals, suspensions and fines, multiple Russian athletes still tested positive for illegal substances during the games. This time it was not the usual abusers or the likely suspects, as curler Aleksandr Krushelnitckii and bobsledder Nadezhda Sergeeva tested positive for banned substances. You read that correctly. Now even sporting events like curling and bobsledding are riddled with performance enhancing drugs and athletes actively breaking the rules for competitive advantages. The Russian government and Vladimir Putin himself still deny any state involvement with the doping schemes, but as the nation's athletes continue to test positive for banned performance enhancing drugs people will undoubtedly assume there are conspiracies afoot.

There was love in the air, at least in my mind, near the end of the games when the "Garlic Girls" made an emotional run at gold in Women's Curling. Yes, I actually watched Women's Curling and yes, I fell in love with "Sunny," "Pancake," "Yogurt," "Steak," and "Chocho" who are the South Korean members of the national team known as the "Garlic Girls." Two of the curlers are sisters, all five have the last name "Kim," and these lovely ladies are literally sparking a curling craze in Eastern Asia as I type, their popularity with milennials now nearing K-Pop artists. The "skipper" or captain of the team 27-year old Kim Eun-jung led the team to a second place finish, while also stealing my heart in the process. The Garlic Girls are second-place superstars, for some reason, and I'm in love with a curler on the other side of the planet.. What just happened?

Tonga shirtless guy was pretty cool too. I respect his dedication to the culture of his homeland, and I also think he's pretty genius for doing something wacky during the ceremonies to get noticed. We should all know by now that Olympic athletes, even medal winners, don't get big paydays for a life of extremely hard work and dedication to their respective sports. I personally admire those who go above and beyond to get a piece of the spotlight and potentially land some sponsorships to help put food on the table going forward. I mean heck, I don't know his name or care to even look it up for this blog, but I now know that Tonga is a real nation that exists somewhere. I now know what that guy looks like, that he has big Tongan balls, and that I would enjoy him being shirtless in a funny commercial. He has somehow found a place in my heart as a favorite person I don't really care at all about personally. Here's to you shirtless Tonga guy, hope you cash in on that big brown sack of yours..

As for the rest of the games, I truly didn't care for any of it as didn't the rest of the internet. We were all waiting for some big thing to happen, whether that be some act of political theatre, an embarassing failure of equipment or location errors, or just generally something truly random and hilarious..  I and many other unimportant online opinionists agree that this year's Olympics were generally boring and uneventful overall. I feel as if all us losers on the internet wanted there to be truly wacky happenings or eventful finishes to meaningful contests that could spark a revolution of funny memes or useful gifs, but I feel as if we were all let down. We might have expected too much, and should probably lower our expectations when the World Cup takes place this summer in Russia.. In the meantime, shame on you 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics, for being mostly confusing and only slightly entertaining. Do better next time.

Introduction:

My name is Sean Cory [ @seanvplanet ] and this is the place I put my thoughts & artwork. I'm a passionate, opinionated, sarcastic sacred-cow slaughtering comedian + writer. I'm also pretty chill too. If there is one thing that this beautiful nation needs in tumultuous times like these it’s a millennial white-male sharing "controversial" opinions on a podcast + blog..

You're welcome America.

The mission here is to help make people happy and do good things, I will also be mocking and ridiculing the ignorant and the wicked. Consider this my formal enlistment in the culture war, fighting for the side pursuing liberty & perpetuating funny.

I am also looking for a good woman to raise many children with if you're out there.

Stay the fuck away from me satan.